


if you’re meant to come back to me

by zimnokurw



Series: buddie by zimnokurw, unrelated one-shots [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Reunion, a scene from the past in here, and rewrite of the scene 'who the hell is that??', buck's birthmark is my weakness, it's cheesy/soft i guess, our boys be in love w/each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24354091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimnokurw/pseuds/zimnokurw
Summary: Evan’s family is moving out of El Paso after Buck’s homophobic father caught Evan kissing his best friend Eddie in his room. Jokes on him, when years later the boys meet again and they still didn’t forget about each other.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: buddie by zimnokurw, unrelated one-shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759828
Comments: 33
Kudos: 681





	if you’re meant to come back to me

**Author's Note:**

> this is obviously an au fam so i decided that if im changing everything already i’ll go and change the fact that buck is not pining over abby anymore cuz they broke up at the airport as theY SHOULD

* * *

**the year 2006**

It’s Evan’s 14th birthday, but the party is supposed to be on Saturday so he’s just laying on the bed in his room. And it’s _so_ everything he needs. Because right next to him, lies his boyfriend. 

Eddie’s spread widely on the twin bed, his back on the soft pillow, and his head leaning on the wooden headboard. Evan lies comfortably on the boy’s chest rather than on the mattress. His left leg between both of Eddie’s and he feels the brunet’s fingers moving over his back. Somehow, Eddie stroking Evan’s back is a soothing gesture that relaxes him even when he doesn’t know he’s tensed.

Evan’s warm hand is placed on the right side of Eddie’s chest, slightly beneath his breast and his fingers dance across the older boy’s torso to the rhythm of the song he heard earlier that day.

It’s peaceful and quiet, and Evan was starting to think that Eddie fell asleep at this point, when the brunet speaks up. “You know,” he starts softly, not to disturb the silent harmony they created. Evan opens his eyes at that, and looks up at his boyfriend who is already watching him with tender eyes. “Everybody always says that high schoolers don’t know what love is and that they’re gonna break up after two months or something.” Eddie continues, frowning. “But I’ve known you since we were 5 years old and I really love you.”

“I love you too.” Evan smiles at his best friend.

“And I wanna marry you someday and have kids with you.” Eddie adds, a bit hesitant and looking right into Evan’s eyes, trying to read his reaction, because that’s the first time they talk about having a family in the future. There’s time, after all. 

“That’s good, ‘cause I want that too.”

And Evan means what he says. He knows that he’s still young and that there’s a lot ahead of him and that he’s gonna have to fight for his dreams, but they are worth fighting for. 

Because he dreams of being a husband, _Eddie’s_ husband. And being a father, father of two would be the best - a boy and a girl, like he and Maddie. Maybe with time he and Eddie would think about more. And he’d like to have a small, cozy home with a garden they’d have to learn to take care of. And they’d have a pet, he’s not sure whether it would be a dog, cat, maybe something else, but a pet nonetheless. He read once that it’s better for kids to be raised with a pet at home. They learn empathy, and how to be gentle, and a bit cautious, and they learn responsibility. 

In response, Eddie smiles his million-dollar smile that makes Evan’s heart jump _every single time_ , and he softly kisses the blonde above his left eye, where his birthmark is. 

Evan used to be very insecure about his birthmark, especially when kids from school were asking him who hit him, because they thought that it’s a bruise and he had to explain to every one of them that it’s a mark, _just like you have freckles, I have a birthmark, I was born with it_. He was really starting to hate his mark, but when he said Eddie that, the brunet said that he loves it and that it’s his favorite part of Evan’s look. And he called Evan chulo, _cutie_ , and they weren’t even dating yet. When Eddie’s Abuela explained to the boys that _birthmark_ is also called _angel’s kiss_ , Eddie kissed Evan there for the first time.

Thinking about this memory, Evan lifts his body a bit, supporting himself on his arms, but careful not to hurt Eddie with his weight.

He leans closer to Eddie’s smiling face, and he licks his lower lip, looking from his boyfriend’s eyes to his lips. Then, he feels Eddie’s left palm on his waist, so he closes the distance between their faces and their mouth touch. And just a second after their lips meet and start working with each other, Eddie pulls Evan closer to himself, because that’s what he always does because he wants to _feel_ Evan there, _next to him_ , _pressed_ against his body.

And Evan is about slip his hands under Eddie’s t-shirt, _just_ to touch him, to feel his warm skin under his palms, because they’re too young to do anything more than kissing and cuddling, but before he can do that, the door to his bedroom open and both boys jump startled and they part, putting as much space between each other as they can.

And when Evan looks up at the door to see who came in, he knows it’s bad, because that’s not Maddie standing there, it’s his dad. His homophobic dad with shocked, but angry eyes, jaw snapped tense, and with a clenched fist.

And Evan hates his dad for what happens next. Because the man grabs Eddie by his shirt and throws him out of the house, yelling to never come back. He yells at Evan for being a faggot, a disappointment, and for being sick. He takes his phone and laptop and even his iPod and tells him that he’s grounded. 

The birthday party is _canceled_ and they are _moving out_ , and Evan isn’t even informed _where_ and it all happens _so fast_. Like a blur. Evan has a panic attack, somewhere between crying at night and begging his mother to _do something_. Maddie has to calm him down, and hold him in her arms, and whisper in his ear that if he and Eddie are meant to be then they will find each other again when Evan will be an adult and when their father won’t have anything to say about this. And she tells him that she’s proud of him, that he’s allowed to like boys and fall in love with his best friend. And he _knows_ all that, and he wants to _believe_ her, but he’s _so goddamn scared_. And then they leave El Paso and Texas all along, and he hugs Maddie, cries some more, and feels lonely even despite his sister’s arms around him.

* * *

**the year 2019**

This day couldn’t get any better. 

First of all, Buck just the day before finally moved into his new apartment and slept on his new, soft bed. Thanks to that, he woke up well-rested _and_ before his alarm, ate breakfast, and drank his sweet coffee. 

Then he got another DXA scan, informing him that he dropped another half percent of body fat which means that he’s already at his goal weight. 

So, the first thing he’s doing when he arrives at work is announcing that fact with a big smile on his face. He bickers with Hen about the Hot Firefighter Calendar, then teases Bobby and Chimney without any heat behind the jokes.

They stop their little argument when Buck notices that Chim’s attention is somewhere behind him and hears the Firefighter Paramedic say “Okay. That is a beautiful man.” 

“Where’s the lie?” adds Hen, gaze also locked in the direction of the locker room, so Buck turns around to take a look. “And I like girls.” he hears in the background.

The guy in the locker room looks good, okay. Maybe he has abs and what seems to be smooth skin. Maybe his brown, fluffy curls make him look hot and cute at the same time, but–

“Who the hell is that?” he asks, the first thing that comes to his mind because he always talks so he can’t fall quiet all of a sudden if he doesn’t want the team to notice that. _And he doesn’t._

The thing is– Yeah, the guy is attractive, but Buck doesn’t look at guys in that way. Not anymore.

There was this one time in his Buck 1.0 phase when he _almost_ kissed a guy. He was in a bar, not even drunk anymore but pure _wasted_ when a hot brunet he was dancing with leaned closer to him with only one possible intention. Their lips were an inch away, about to touch, when Buck looked into the guy’s eyes. 

And yeah, he might have looked good and might have been a brunet, but his eyes were all wrong. And the way he was starting to smirk was all wrong. And the fact that he wasn’t Latino was all wrong. _He_ was _all wrong_. Because he wasn’t the one person Buck wanted him to be. So Buck just pushed him away and left the bar. 

He is aware that it’s ridiculous, pathetic, _pitiful_ even, but he can’t help the fact that he was supposed to marry Eddie and have kids with him. And he doesn’t know how to do that with anyone else. He even confessed that to Abby once, his almost-girlfriend at the time for _crying out loud_ and she just smiled sadly at him and told him that he’s still in love. 

He fell in love when he was a kid, and he’s still pining over a man who probably doesn’t remember him. That’s golden.

“New recruit.” Buck hears Bobby say and that brings him back to the present moment. “Graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station Six were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us.” 

Buck turns back to Bobby before he can even risk a closer look at the new guy’s face.

“What do we need him for?” he asks, not even thinking about his words, and he regrets it when all three of his friends laugh at that, annoying him instantly.

“He served multiple tours in Afghanistan as an Army medic.” Bobby informs the team. “Guy's got a Silver Star. It's not like he's wet behind the ears.” 

And yeah, it’s kinda impressive, but that just annoys Buck even further. His day started great, but the rookie hero had to come in and ruin it all. 

“Come on, I'll introduce you to him.” Bobby says and Buck has to fight his facial muscles not to wince. “He likes to be called Eight Pack.” Cap adds teasingly, looking straight at Buck and gesturing to his own body as if Buck wouldn’t be able to understand the joke without the help. 

“Wow. Silver Star.” Hen mutters under her nose, but Buck is sure that she does that only because Buck is close enough to hear this, and she follows Cap first.

“Better drop some more body fat there, butch.” Chimney adds, enjoying this way too much than he should, and lightly hitting Buck in his stomach as he walks by.

Buck wants to just scoff and leave. Go up to the kitchen and make himself another coffee even though he doesn’t need it. Sit down on the couch and play Xbox with whoever would be there even though Buck would most likely lose again because video games aren’t his strong suit. Hell, he would even grab a bucket with some detergent water and rag to wash a firetruck. But something in him tells him to suck it up and act like an adult. 

When he was a rookie he was really nervous walking into the station and the team greeted him with dinner. He’s not gonna be an asshole to the new guy now. 

Before his mind even fully registers it, Buck takes a deep breath and quickly follows behind Chimney. 

“Hi.” he hears Hen, when he catches up. 

They _just_ walked into the locker room. He thought he spent about ten minutes wondering what to do when in reality his legs must’ve started moving right after Chimney jokingly hit him.

“Hey.” answers the new recruit, fixing the collar of his uniform shirt and looking at Hen. 

Buck looks at his slightly curly, soft, brown hair that’s longer on top and shorter on the sides. Then at his eyes that seem more like the color of chocolate than just plain brown. Lastly, Buck notices just how much more _beautiful_ the well-kept stubble on the man’s face makes him look. And Buck feels like he met him before. Maybe he was shown on TV or in some kind of online article when he received the Silver Star? 

“This is Hen.” Bobby introduces the Firefighter Paramedic, gesturing to the woman. The new guy just finishes buttoning up his uniform shirt. When he’s done, leaving the top button unbuttoned, he smiles at Hen and Cap. 

And this is it. Buck _knows_ why the man looks familiar. He _knows_ where he has seen him before. The man’s smile is sweet and soft and it’s worth a million dollars, and Buck’s heart does the _thing_. It’s an interrupted _thump_ , like it’s jumped out of its rhythm for a quick moment. 

Buck remembers the feeling of his heart jumping and he remembers that it was jumping when Eddie smiled his million-dollar smile at him and this is _it_. This is this smile. Buck knows that he last saw this smile years ago, _13 years ago_ , but he can’t be mistaken. 

“Hen, this i–” 

Bobby’s voice pulls him out of his mind once again, and he doesn’t even think when he opens his mouth.

“Eddie?” he asks and he feels himself frowning, because he doesn’t know how this is even possible.

What are the chances of reuniting like that? Are they really both Firefighters? In Los Angeles? At Station 118? Buck knows that Maddie used to tell him that if he and Eddie are meant to be then they will find each other again, but he was a _kid_ when he believed that and he wasn’t a kid for a long time now. Evan stopped believing that he would _ever_ see Eddie again after searching for him on the internet ended in a disaster, because Eddie was never a fan of social media and when Evan was looking for him he still didn’t even have a Facebook account. 

And suddenly he’s scared and self-conscious and he knows that Bobby, Hen, and Chimney all turned to him and are frowning at him. What if it’s a misunderstanding? What if it’s just too much sugar in his coffee? What if he wants this guy to be Eddie so much that his mind is playing tricks on him? What if it _is_ Eddie but he hates him for the way he left? What if he moved on a long time ago and doesn't even remember Evan?

Buck _dares_ to wake up from this fog around him and clearing his vision, he looks up at the man in front of him again, even though he had his eyes on him the whole time. _What’s this about the fog now?_

The brunet is looking straight into Buck’s eyes. There are so many emotions crossing his face in a split second that Buck isn’t able to catch even a few and hold onto them. 

“Evan?” ~~the man~~ Eddie asks.

It’s him. He’s here. Right in front of Buck. 

He’s all grown up now. From a sweet boy to a hot man, but he’s still all soft looking and he’s watching Evan with his tender eyes that Buck doesn’t feel weird or awkward seeing his ex-boyfriend after all those years. 

Buck sees Eddie’s eyes trace around, he feels him checking his facial features, searching for something precisely. He knows that Eddie’s gaze stops on Evan’s birthmark, right above his left eye and he sees the brunet smile widely.

Buck’s face breaks into a grin just as fast, and he opens his mouth, forgetting about his colleagues and his Captain eyeing him closely. “What the hell are you doing here, Eds?” he asks, taking a step forward. His body relaxing as he leans into Eddie and they hug. 

It’s not a quick hug with a friend from high school. They both wrap their arms around each other as if they thought about doing it throughout the last thirteen years. Buck closes his eyes when he breathes in Eddie’s scent and he feels the man gently stroking his back while he holds him. It makes Evan want to get back to his bedroom on his 14th birthday, lie down next to Eddie, and never leave.

They pull away though, and Buck’s hand stays on Eddie’s shoulder for another unnecessary second, but he doesn’t feel weird about it because he feels Eddie’s palm linger on his waist too.

Eddie seems to finally remember Evan’s question when they take a step back from each other. “I was under the impression that I’m starting my shift in an hour.” he says, while Buck leans against the glass wall of the locker room. “If that’s okay with you, chulo.” the brunet adds, amused.

Chulo. _Cutie_. Buck’s knees go weak the moment he hears the pet name from his childhood and he wonders if Eddie means it that way or if it’s just a funny way to recall their past. 

“Y-yeah.” Buck says weakly, remembering that he didn’t answer yet. He’s too busy gazing into Eddie’s eyes and too distracted by the fact that Eddie is gazing back.

“So first you say we don’t need no rookies and now you’re all buddy-buddy with Mr. Eight Pack here?” sounds Hen’s accusing voice to Buck’s right and it reminds him that his friends are still right there. 

He knows that there’s no real heat behind Hen’s voice, but it makes him straighten anyway, standing taller.

“You said that?” Eddie asks, dramatically lying a hand on his heart. “I’m hurt, Evan.” he adds, snorting and Buck just rolls his eyes.

“It’s good that you know each other, because you’re going to be partners.” says Bobby with his Captain voice, but with something wary in his eyes as he looks between two men.

“Yeah, I’m Chimney by the way.” Chim jumps in, sounding between bored and nonchalant, and Buck once again leans against the wall.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Eddie looks away from Buck and smiles apologetically at the Paramedic. “Eddie, it’s really nice to meet you.” he says, holding his hand out and Chimney takes it, greeting him with a genuine smile now.

“Good to have you, man.”

“Yeah. We’re looking forward to seeing you in the field.” Hen adds, also shaking hands with Eddie. 

Buck finds himself watching the scene with a soft smile on his face, because Eddie – _the love of his life_ – is right here and is meeting 118, _Buck’s chosen family_ , and even if Buck will find out that Eddie moved on, that he’s in a relationship or that he’s just not interested in Evan that way anymore, they can at least be friends again.

Eddie straightens up when he looks at Bobby. “Sir.” he says, nodding, and Buck can’t help but burst out laughing. “Easy there, esé.” Eddie eyes him, clearly a bit lost as to what’s so amusing about this situation.

“It’s just– don’t call him _sir_ , Eds.” Buck explains.

“He’s right. Just Bobby or Cap is fine.” Bobby smiles and Eddie nods, understanding the unspoken _it’s a firehouse, not the army_.

“Hey, so how much time did you say you have before your shift starts?” Buck asks, eager to sit down with his childhood best friend and talk. 

“Enough for a coffee and catching up.” offers Eddie, looking straight at Buck and tilting his head to the left, while he awaits the answer.

“I know just the place.” grins Evan, taking a step closer to Eddie and grabbing his hand without thinking. Then, he pulls the brunet to follow him as he starts walking at a quick pace. 

“I’ll be back on time, Cap!” Eddie yells over his shoulder as he blindly follows Evan, still not letting go of his hand.

  
Okay, so maybe this day could have gotten better. _And it has._

**Author's Note:**

> i think i like alternative universe short buddie fics a bit too much
> 
> come yell at me on my tumblr: remi-briggs


End file.
